Parents and Dating

I'm sooooooooo sorry to all, I've been so busy with life that I haven't had a moment to blog (see comment on the last post...) But on with blogging...

My parents are really wonderful people and care so much about me and my well being (that is not to say that they don't care about my other siblings...but were not talking about them right now). Sometimes, they can be awfully harsh, especially when it comes to dating. But I realize where all this harshness comes from, it comes from the heart, simply that they want it so badly for me. It’s come to the point that I don't even feel bad for myself that I'm not married as much as I feel bad for my parents. I see how much it hurts them and how badly they want it, that I wish it would just happen already for their sake. They only want and dream to see me happy and to see me raise a family of wonderful children (IY”H). They are only nervous, simply that as the years pass, they get older and they will have less time to enjoy them. Fortunately, as time goes on, they become less and less judgmental of me, and less and less hurtful about the whole topic. They are beginning to realize that I'm hurting as much as they are and I want it as bad as they do and I'm not being picky or annoying, just the right one hasn't come by yet.

As of late, I've been so much happier about the whole subject. I really stopped thinking about it and stopped going crazy about it and you know what? I'm thrilled!!! I'm so busy with so many other things (basketball, several shiurim and chavrusas, new chessed opportunities etc...), who has time to be sad and lonely? I come home at night; I'm so tired that I don't really have the opportunity to dwell on it, which is great! I find myself believing (and FEELING!!) that it is all up to Hashem and everything will work out in the right time. I daven that it should be soon for me and the rest of the single boys (amazing, that I feel bad for some of them) and girls in search of their zivug. May this year be the year!

"It's ok!!!!"

So I'm back from my Yom Tov vacation and I can't get over this silly phrase I heard nearly every day..."It's ok!!” People said it while others were attempting at performing mitzvos to the best of their ability and if they came short -- well the others around would simply chant 'it’s ok!!’ It's like, so what if you did half a mitzvah? What's the big deal? At least you tried! Truthfully, the attitude grossed me out. It's such a silly attitude, I felt like people we're saying, come downstairs half dressed -- It's ok!! -- When really all these people were dressed to the nines! Where did we learn about this half baked attitude towards Torah and Mitzvos? Not any institution that I attended...One's very similar to where most people attend. It hurt me, to see such an attitude and so soon after Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur!!

It makes me wonder if people really believe that Hashem isn't watching us...ALWAYS? I know it's hard to remember but at least at the point of performing a mitzvah, you would hope that someone at least would attempt to do their best. I know it's a naive approach...but I look at those who are so sincere and wish that other's were more like them...Maybe we would have a chance of Mashiach coming a bit sooner...

Anyway...it’s back to the regular scheduled programming (i.e. work...) and well, I can't say I'm all that excited -- but at least I got some nice new fancy furniture in my office ;-). Looking forward to Shabbos as always!

Dear readers...Have a great week!

Yom Kippur Tears

It was a meanigful and beautiful Yom Tov. The booming sounds of all the yeshiva voices, screaming out to Hashem was powerful. You felt the intensity in the room, so strongly. You felt everyone give their all, begging and pleading with Hakodosh Baruch Hu to forgive us and bless us with happiness, health, and greater commitment to Him.

There was something that struck me so intensly. I watched one of the Rebbetzins cry, literally from the beginning to the end of davening. I wanted so badly to be in her mind and feel what she was feeling. I cried, but not like that. To feel the losses of klal yisroel as a nation - between churban habyis, aseres harugey malchut etc... It was incredible. Really.

It's been a week since Yom Kippur and I can't help hoping that I got everything in...Ya, I'm alive, but is that enough!? There is so much I davened for...for friends, family, and myself. I only hope it will be a good year.