That's what friends are for

Wow, I haven't blogged in a while. Life has been really insane. I would even dare say more so than usual. But there is something I have come across that I must vent about.

People often say about me "oh, you know everyone!" or "You have SO many friends!” I really hear those statements daily and somehow I always think....if only you knew… Yes, I might be acquainted with many many different people but at the end of the day how many of those people can I really look at and say: Those are my friends. Sadly, it's very few.

Not to pat myself on the back but all too often I will probably go out of my way for just about anyone friend or not friend. But how many of the non-friends actually call me and say, "Hey, how are you? How was your day?" or "Hey, haven't seen you in a while, let's go hang out". It drives me crazy when people call and say "I'm lonely, so can we hang out?" Who wants to hang out on that basis? Or "Hey, we should talk sometime, but can you get me XXXX" I'll do it 9 out of 10 times but it doesn't leave me the best of feelings.

This brings me to what many of you are thinking. Why bother? This is going to come out so harsh...but no offense; it's no one else’s business but my own! Thank g-d I'm a growing 24 year old woman. I can make decisions for myself, B”H. My parents don't tell me what to do, why I would allow others to do that for me, is beyond me! I know many people around me think they know what's better for me but for the very reason you're not me, you have NO IDEA! If I chose to take on a project, no matter how busy it's going to make me, it doesn't help me by telling me 24/7 I shouldn't be doing it. I chose to do it and that's my decision and no one else’s. It might be hard sometimes, but the satisfaction is what counts. It’s not only satisfaction for others but satisfying myself.

I went to a shabbaton in LA last shabbos (New Year's) and so many people told me, I can't believe you're doing this etc etc etc. You know, on the way there I was beginning to wonder, why am I doing this? I have SO much to do, why bother? In hindsight, I'm SOOOO happy I stuck through it. It was an amazing experience, unsurpassable by anything else I would have done that weekend. Had I listened to all my 'friends' I doubt I would be the person I want and should be.

So if you want to be my friend, please stand at my side and say, don't worry everything is going to be ok, instead of giving me the added tzuros (however you spell that) that can only bring me down. Give me the strength to overcome, the strength that I can do anything I set my mind to. When making me crazy about what I should and shouldn't do, only further alienates me from you, not wanting me to tell you what it is that I'm doing, what’s bothering me etc... I'll just bring you right back to the acquaintance category, just like all the others.

For those that are my true friends thank you for all that you do for me. Some of you (well probably most of you) are thinking what did I do? You were there for me. You surprised me when you knew I was stressed and needed some company. You welcomed me to be a part of your family, you called me to check up on me, and you gave me your shoulder to cry on when things got rough. You gave me the strength to overcome, the strength to say YOU CAN DO IT! and to believe ALL will work out in the right time, just the way Hashem has planned it! For that, I thank you!

**NOTE THIS IS IN NO WAY MEANT TO UPSET OR INSULT ANYONE IN SPECIFIC, SIMPLY A VENTING OF MY FEELINGS.**