Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm sorry for being so late with this post...I forget about all the readers I have! (Not that I don't care about you but because when I write these things, I feel like I'm writing to myself, but anyway...)
Rosh Hashana was a powerful experience. I think this is one of the few times I actually realized -- 'Anochi Afar V'afer'. Obviously I have always known this as an intellectual concept. I've known it for a long time but to really feel it and believe it...I don't know that I can say that I really understand that phrase. The Ba'al Tefillah (both days) really moved me to tears (yes, literal ones). No, they weren't tears about me and my own hardships, although it was a part of it but they were tears remembering all the hardships that my friends are facing. My friend's husband who is in the hospital, other friends who are suffering chronic diseases, friends that are divorced, my older (Relax, I mean older than me) friends who aren't married etc... I truly wonder why bad things happen to good people. So many of these people who have been affected by these hardships, I find are the people who simply want to do good for others. I know all the standard responses...I don't need to go into them but I find it so hard to accept sometimes. I also just heard a shiur on loving and fearing G-d -- but I feel so hindered. I want so badly to love him more and more, but it's so hard to love someone when you don't feel like you're getting anything back. In addition, it’s so hard to love someone when you feel as if the tools you need to love him to the best of your ability are not given to you. I just felt like a piece of nothing, in a large world, where we are completely powerless to the one above...I guess that's also the point of Rosh Hashana...so not such a bad thing....
I saw a cute poem that illustrated this point:
Dear God,
I'm writing to say I'm sorry
For being angry yesterday
When you seemed to ignore my prayer
And things didn't go my way
First, my car broke down
I was very late for work
But I missed that awful accident
Was that your handiwork?
I found a house I loved
But others got there first
I was angry, then relieved
When I heard the pipes had burst!
Yesterday, I found the perfect dress
But the color was too pale
Today, I found the dress in red
Would you believe, it was on sale!
I know you're watching over me
And I'm feeling truly blessed
For no matter what I pray for
You always know what's best!
I truly believe that Hashem does know what's best...I just daven for the ability to one day understand his ways...
posted by Inmymind @ 9:16 PM
4 Comments:
One of your silent readers has finally commented. Don't have much to say, but great post! Keep them coming.
Wow..... I am so unpleased with you right now. I think I am going to have to stop reading your blog. This whole thing is really frusterating me more than you know and it is not like I do not have anything else to worry about right now.
Inmymind, life is not perfect, nor will it ever be. If it was, I do not think we would be able to appreciate the beautiful things that we do have from Hashem.
What you need to realize is that everything that is happening to us is happening for a reason. Hashem has a plan. We do not know it. We are not meant to know it.
I have been sick for a few years now, and as you know in the last few days, the prognosis has gotten much worse. I do not view this as a "bad thing" happening to me though. It is something that for whatever reason I need to deal with. It is my lot I am dealing with it one moment at a time. This past weekend I thanked Hashem with tears in my eyes for giving me everything he has. For giving me strength, insight, love and emunah.
Inmymind, I never thought I would be where I am today, and I would not wish my pain on my worse enemy but it is not a bad thing, it is a bracha that Hashem thinks I can take this. Hashem knows you can deal with what he has given you. Please be patient and try to be happy.
May all of your tefillot be answered in their due time and my you find peace and tranquility within.
Know that all of this was said with true love and admiration and was never meant to hurt you.
Enjoy Florida and hopefully we will see eachothe in October
Fromsc2ny
ZK -- SO great to hear from you!!
fromsc2ny -- I'm not sure how this fits in with this post but I will respond nonetheless. I think you're confusing 2 different things. What you and I are dealing with are 2 of the most disconnected things one could imagine. I thank Hashem for the many beautiful things I have going on in my life...I hope that this blog is a testament to that...but at the same token, I have my own hardships to deal with. I KNOW full well there is a reason why things are the way they are. I only wonder why. As life goes on, many times I receive explanations for why different things happen and I truly believe that this is no different. I will say this again -- NO ONE can understand what I am going through -- simply because no one is me. What I'm going through in no way compares to your issues, I can't even imagine what it's like. I only daven every day to Hashem that he heal you and others that I know like you. This past post was simply a declaration of my Emunah. If I didn't have any, I would never be able to go on with life -- but that in no way takes away how hard it is. I completely believe in Hashem’s ways and I know he has given it to me because I can handle it but at the same time it’s not easy and I can’t help but wonder if maybe there is something that I’m missing and Hashem is just waiting for me to do it already. Who knows…I only daven that Hashem give me guidance to realize what I’m supposed to do to make my dreams come true. I wish you a Gmar Chasima Tova and I daven that Hashem answer all your tefillos L’tovah. And yes, you better come visit me today…. (September 28, 2006)
inmymind - i agree with you all the way. i've had similar feelings. sometimes it's hard to not feel abandoned or disappointed. it would be nice to get a glimpse into the why's of things, but i suppose that's part of the challenge.
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