Losing a Friend
It's been about a year since I lost my best friend. We were the crazy girls who were attached at the hip. We literally did everything together. We were in high school when we met. I befriended her and because she was from out of town, I brought her home with me almost every day. She was a part of my family. When she was dating her now husband, she didn't tell me till a week before she got engaged. I was shocked and hurt. She got married. I tried to keep in touch but she never returned my calls. So, I stopped. She has a beautiful daughter and she didn't even invite me over to come see her. I saw her recently at a wedding and she just didn't look happy. I know my friend, inside and out and she just didn't have that shine that I know she has.
I sit here, missing her. I miss all the times that we had and all that we shared. The laughter and the tears. I wish her well and I daven that she is happy. I hope that one day we will be able to reconnect but for now, this is the way she wanted things, so I let it be. I wish her luck in everything in her life, and I pray that Hashem shine upon her.
There have been other friends like her that I have lost, some more recent than others. I know that it's a part of life but it's sad especially when you lose them unwillingly. You sit and wonder if they miss you as much as you miss them and if they care about the fact that you've lost touch. For many I will never know the answer and I only hope that maybe some day we will reunite.
As this is a special time of year, where we should reflect on our wrongdoings, I miss my friends that made this time of year meaningful. I miss the ones that charged me full of spiritual energy and helped me prepare for this time of year. Maybe, because so many of those friends are married, moved away and what not, I feel somewhat lonely and disconnected from that spiritual energy.
I hope that my situation shapes up in the next 2 weeks. If I have to enter Yom Hadin in this state...I'll be quite nervous about my blessings for this upcoming year….
K'siva V'chasima Tova to all!
posted by Inmymind @ 8:46 PM
9 Comments:
it's tough when u 'lose' a friend that u really got on with... but worse than that, is seeing friends move along when you fell you are not. My advice is, don't feel bad for yourself. you have lots to look forward to, your connection to hashem is all yours, helped if possible by your friends, but even without them being that close to you... it is still all yours.
daven where you feel most comfortable. here is my wish that you will find the 'spiritual energy' to be close to Hashem during these days, and look forward to a mazeldeke year full of joy and happiness (and a chosson!!!)
You must be a very special person to have been zoche to have had such a friend!
K'siva V'chasima Tova to you too!
WE ALL LOVE YOU. BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!
Almost_frei -- I don't feel bad for myself, so much as I just miss them. I know that my connection with Hashem is dependent on me and only me -- but it helps when you are in the right environment. I hope that this year will be a better year on many fronts, just wish me luck in convincing my parents that it's ok not to spend Rosh Hashana with them.
Kasamba -- I don't know that I was zoche...I clearly lost her...
Anonymous -- Thanx for being my fan club -- I can always count on you guys!
I don't know why she disappeared - I'm sure it was extremely hurtful. I admire the attitude you've taken. Often it's something going on in the other person's life that's bothering them, that can make them behave oddly. I wish you a good year, with lots of loyal friendships, mazel and brocha.
I miss you.....
I hope you have a wonderful year...and that Hashem grants all your wishes....
:)
Matahari -- ya, I assume it's something going on in her life...She's a special person and I sincerely hope she's happy. Wishing you much Mazal for the coming year as well!
Finallyinisrael -- I miss you like crazy! And CRAZY simchas going on in your family -- SOOO excited! Hashem should answer all your tefillos as well!
I think you need to get over your need to marry someone who is "yeshivish." I am sure you have dated people in the past whom you liked but because he wasn't yeshivish you gave up on him.
Anonymous -- I'm not exactly sure where your comment fits into this conversation... In any case, thank you for looking out for me but I will choose what is good for me, not what you or anyone else thinks is good for me. To you it may very well be something unimportant but the same does not hold true for me. Just because I enjoy the company of someone who was not yeshivish, does not mean I think that they are a suitable match for marriage. For better or for worse, I'm a lively, energetic individual who is able to get along with many different types of people. And, at the end of the day, you have no idea who I've liked and not likes and why. Thank you again.
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