Israel Under Siege

I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes. I'm scared of what the future will bring for our beautiful and holy country. I watch the news with such intensity and trepidation. Every time there are casualties on the Israeli side, I think about the families and friends who are suddenly thrown into endless turmoil, with their only comfort that their son/daughter/mother/father/aunt/uncle/friend etc... died on behalf of the state of Israel. They died defending Torah, Yiddishkeit and the state of Israel.

When I returned from my year in seminary, I walked along the streets of New York feeling completely displaced. I felt like a stranger in the land that I grew up in. Slowly that displacement faded but it came back every time I returned to Israel. Yet, those feelings continue to fade. This past week, since the situation has escalated, I walk along those same streets and I feel this complete void, this displacement, this feeling of not belonging.

I know where I should be...in Israel alongside our brethren fighting for our land (maybe not necessarily in the physical sense but certainly in the emotional and spiritual sense). I just can’t help but think, as a friend of mine very well put it...'if mashiach is coming, then I certainly don't want to be here!’ I want to be there so badly...I know many of you are thinking...'well then, just go!’ I can't. I have responsibilities and what not. I wish I could be there with all my heart etc...But it's just not the right time now. Believe me when I tell you, I’ve thought about it.

I daven that we win our war and that all will return to normal -- whatever that means in the middle east. To Israel: I wish I were standing there in Israel with you, in your time of need. I’m certainly there in spirit but I just feel like it’s not enough. I pray that Hashem bring us peace or mashiach ASAP!