The Wedding

Last night, I attended the wedding of a guy I knew from a camp I worked at a number of summers ago. He apprently invited me, because a girl I set him up with led him to his now wife. B"H you never know what could lead to what. But the whole situation was awkward. I didn't know any of the girls but undoubtedly I knew all of the boys from camp. Many came over to say hello, but I felt so awkward and so wrong. I have worked so hard, more this year than ever to really free myself from these situations. To not put myself where I would have to talk to these boys because this is not who I am or want to be. It's already hard enough that most live in my community and I see them around so often, if not daily. I've been pretty good but I was faced with it in a way I haven't been faced with it before. I almost didn't feel so bad because no one that would care even saw me. But I felt bad for being such a hypocrite. I hope Hashem forgives me and realizes I simply went for the sake of simchas chosson v' kallah.