Ethical Dilemma

I was having a perfectly enjoyable Friday night meal at some friends. Nice company, nice food (wait, I'm on my pscyho diet....so I didn't eat any of it...but it sure looked good!) great divrei Torah etc... Until, I was informed that everyone had decided to go to a singles event (mind you, there were 4 people aside from me at the meal. You do the math -- 4 people makes how many couples? Only one was married, but still...) where someone organized a chulent contest including 13 different types of chulent. I was about to go with them even though alarm bells were going off in my head to not go. I was so close, literally 10 ft away, when I decided...no, I was not going to give in. So instead, I said good bye to my friends' and parted ways.

Some of you may wonder: "Hey you'r single, why in the world would you avoid a singles event??" Well to tell you all the truth, I would have loved to go to hang out with people I probably have not seen in a while but all at the same time, I have this voice in the back of my head telling me that if I'm looking for a specific type of guy then I should act in a manner deserving of him.

The types of guys I date and am interested in are the guys who are sitting in the beis medrash late at night learning, not going to chulent parties. Maybe I'm wrong and I shouldn't care but I unfortunately we live in a world where everyone is watching you and how you act. For better or for worse, I'm pretty well known, so I have more to fear than your average person. So, I have to be careful.

Also, I can't stand being hypocritical that if I were to say watch movies but expect a potnetial mate not to.... well to me...that's just wrong.